Few things are certain in this uncertain world. Yes, you’ll die and pay taxes. (Sorry.)

And you will overeat at Scott Conant’s restaurants. (Less sorry: At least this one’s enjoyable.)

You’ve already eaten your weight in spaghetti pomodoro at Scarpetta. (Who, us?) And now you’ll be led into temptation at Faustina, opening today in The Cooper Square Hotel.

Alas, resistance is futile. The holy-shit dishes at the tasting included grilled ciabatta with poached duck egg, tender octopus with fingerling potatoes, slow-roasted escolar with saba, cannelloni with burrata, and torrone panna cotta. Mercy? Not yet: The olive oil-poached sardines with artichokes will convert everyone who thinks he hates the little swimmers.

The former Table 8 space has been gently made over in subtle grays with dark red jolts. Calm and fiery, as befits the Roman empress for whom the place is named.

Do try to channel some regal restraint.

Faustina, 25 Cooper Square, Bowery, at East 5th Street (212-475-3400). For the first week, Faustina is holding four tables per night for DailyCandy subscribers; parties of two to four, 7-9 p.m. Mention DailyCandy when reserving.

Take cover: It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Peruse our lingerie arsenal to organize your panty raid.

Photo: Janelle Jones