You big lug nut, you.

ATTEND
Crest Fest and the Crest Hardware Art Show
What: Admire aisles of site-specific tire sculptures, rope animals, and other tool- and appliance-inspired works.
Why: Grub from The Meat Hook and Calexico’s Mexican meal cart, plus performances by indie outfit Motel Motel, dream pop wunderkind Oberhofer, and fifteen local DJs.
When: Thru July 31. Fest, Sat., noon-11 p.m.
Where: 558 Metropolitan Ave., b/t Lorimer St. & Union Ave., Williamsburg (718-388-9521).

SAVE
Linea Pelle Sample Sale
What: Up to 75 percent off soft-washed, Italian leather bags, belts, and other accessories (hello, multistrand cuffs) at the L.A. line’s first NYC sale.
Why: The Vanessa cross-body clutch (reg. $250, now $100) and the Alex studded hobo (reg. $495, now $195).
When: Thurs., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: 362 Fifth Ave., b/t 34th & 35th Sts., ste. 901.

SHOP
Miss Hoe Opens
What: Explore NYC designer Abby Hoe’s wonderful, wacky-cute world in her debut store.
Why: Most floral linen rompers, polka-dot drop-waist dresses, colorful patchwork bags, and hand-sewn monster toys ring in at less than $100.
When: Mon.-Thurs. & Sun., 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 10 a.m.-8 p.m.
Where: 2 Prince St., at Bowery (646-684-3494).

WANDER
Greenpoint Backyard Bazaar
What: In God We Trust empress Shana Tabor and The Parlour Brooklyn host more than a dozen vendors (Dona Monroe and Jill Lindsey dresses, Goldie’s Soap) at the summer open-air market.
Why: Free beer and mimosas, plus an extra 10 percent off your In God We Trust purchase.
When: Sat., noon-6 p.m.
Where: 70-72 Greenpoint Ave., b/t Franklin & West Sts., Greenpoint (718-389-3545).

SAIL
The Great Gatsby Boat Tour
What: During the laid-back, two-hour cruise around Manhasset Bay, you’ll see yacht clubs, waterfront mansions, and other East (Sand’s Point) and West Egg (King’s Point) landmarks that inspired Fitzgerald.
Why: A who’s who of 1920s celebs who lived in the area (W.P. Chrysler, Harry Guggenheim, and Groucho Marx).
When: Thru Sept. 6.
Where: Town Dock, 347 Main St., at Covert St., Port Washington. Check schedule online at greatgatsbyboattour.org. To reserve a spot ($25), call 212-678-1955 or e-mail greatgatsbyboattour@gmail.com.

SLURP
An Egg Cream
What: Treat yourself to a delightful blend of hand-jerked seltzer, Hudson Valley Fresh milk, and chocolate syrup ($2.50) while spinning on a stool in the restored 1920s pharmacy.
Why: Pluck old-school candies from original apothecary drawers and stock up on local groceries like Dallis Coffee from Queens and Hot Bread Kitchen granola.
When: Thru Sun., 3-8 p.m. Starting Tues., daily, noon-9 p.m.
Where: Brooklyn Farmacy & Soda Fountain, 513 Henry St., at Sackett St., Carroll Gardens.

Photo: Courtesy of Crest Hardware