There was a time when you were sweet, beautiful, and in love. Then you started planning a wedding. And a crazed lunatic took control of you. That’s what Freud might say — and that’s what you’ll tell the groom.

Please ...

Borough deeper into the city. Or, at the very least, get on a train.

HEAR
Chihuly Nights
What: A dreamy evening garden performance by adorably poppy Brazilian band Mosquitos.
Why: You’re bound to get the bug.
When: Thurs., 4-9 p.m.; performance, 6:30 ...

Between the elaborate plots on TV (we’re officially Lost) and the schlep to Kips Bay (which may as well be Kappa Gamma cinema), the movie experience has lost some of its charm.

Who has time for all that watching and thinking

You do costume and cubic because you can’t stand feeding into the stereotype.

But (and damn it!) you’ve recently discovered that diamonds really are your best friend.

If you’re gonna wear that bling, you’ll wear it on your own terms. ...

To: DC Editors
Re: Spa Pitch

What: Ryu-Jitsu (“Dragon Magic” in Japanese), a three-part body treatment that just launched at NAO Salon & Spa in midtown.

Why: It’s a-ma-zing. Nothing like it in the U.S. (And we’ve looked.)

You start ...

We all know what it’s like: You walk into the room, barely making eye contact. You strip, lie down, and wait for a woman you hardly know to throw your legs around your neck, then judge you and your unruly ...

Many eons ago at the roller rink, you took a mortifying spill in front of Freshman Hottie, but then you stole his heart during ladies’ choice. No wonder people call you the Kerry Strug of the nonvaulting world: You know ...