There are only three things for certain in this world: death (darn!), taxes (rats!), and gravity-induced downward breast mobility (no comment).

It’s unavoidable. Over 22 and have tits? You know all about the loss of perkiness, height, and shape.

Which ...

You thought you knew boredom.

Then you looked in the mirror at your flat-ironed head for the gazillionth time and realized that bone-straight hair isn’t just incredibly tedious to accomplish, it’s incredibly tedious to look at.

Good-bye and good riddance ...

Ever notice how everything in Takashimaya — from the peonies to the pillowcases — is a little fancier and a lot more expensive?

And yet you never leave feeling ripped off. Maybe because the service is a cut above and ...

And so wedding season is upon us.

Get ready to kiss the frazzled bride, fawn over the groom’s passive-aggressive mother, and politely giggle through the best man’s drunken toast. Ah, life’s rituals. It seems like everybody’s getting married. One day ...

It happens every time.

You arrive at the hair salon, weary and worn, hoping for some respite from the cold, cruel world.

And there she is in the next chair. Jabber Jaw Jenkins. Yammering away at you like a tweaking ...

Mission accomplished: You’re married. Now where to go to recover from the seating-chart fiasco, the bachelor-party “incident,” the newly beloved in-laws, and — oh, right — to celebrate your new life together? Some honeymoon ideas.

Eat, Drink, and Be Married

Why would anyone strap nasty poly-blend bricks onto their feet? Because they’re Anti-Cellulite Sneakers.

When did dropping the pumpkin muffin and doing leg presses take a backseat to miracle creams and bionic footwear? Right. Never mind: Cellulite is hereditary, and ...