August 31, 2004

American Beauty

Register to Vote

If you’ve never voted, you’re missing out on one of life’s great pleasures.

No, not the satisfaction of performing your civic duty. Or the sense of solidarity with your fellow voters. Or the continuity with our nation’s roots in freedom, democracy, and self-determination.

We’re talking about the smug feeling of self-congratulatory superiority you get from wearing that little “I voted” sticker on your lapel all day.

Hey, Mr. Goateed Coffeehouse Loiterer: I voted. You know it, Mr. Angry Supervisor at Work: I voted. Read ’em and weep, Ms. Waitress Taking My Lunch Order: I voted. Say it, don’t spray it, Mr. Toll-Booth Guy: I voted.

Yeah, check me out, honey: I voted.

Because if you don’t, you can’t lord it over people.

And that’s just plain un-American.

Nearly 76 million eligible Americans didn’t vote in 2000. Decisions are made by the people who show up, and time’s running out to register to vote. Do it online at declareyourself.com.