Online - July 07, 2009
Sweatin' to the Oldies
SweatBlock Seven-Day Antiperspirant
Command deck of the U.S.S. Enterprise.
Kirk: That run-in with the Klingons had me shvitzing.
Spock: True, Captain. Your perspiration has reached critical levels of malodorousness.
Scotty: Try SweatBlock, sir, an ancient product from 2009. Dab it on and you won’t sweat for a week — even in these polyester uniforms.
Sulu: Honey, don’t get me started. It’s, like, the future, and we still can’t invent a nontacky fiber that breathes.
Kirk: Bones, is it possible to halt perspiration for so long?
McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not an anatomist.
Kirk: But … aren’t those kind of the same thing?
McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a semantics professor.
Awkward silence.
Scotty: Sir, it was invented by a Harvard Medical School lad. Worth a try.
Kirk: You can say that again.
Spock: Yet to do so would be illogical.
Available online at sweatblock.com.
Most POPULAR ARTICLES
