Philadelphia - June 06, 2006

Got MILF?

Vintage Dresses at Sugarcube

Back in the ’50s, Granny wore heels, pearls, a garter, a girdle, and wacky pointy bras.

And that was just to scrub Grampa’s toilet.

We may have come a long way since, but June Cleaver, Margaret Anderson, and all those other television MILFs just looked too good not to borrow their style.

To aid in your retrospective, Sugarcube recently acquired about 50 mint-condition vintage frocks, mostly from the 1950s and a few from the ’60s. These are not your average smelly vintage dresses: They look like Elisa Buratto — Sugarcube’s proprietress — grabbed Audrey Hepburn out of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, wrestled her bony ass to the ground, and stole her entire wardrobe.

Sure, wear them with your flip-flops for every day. But vamp them up Bettie Page style with garters and pantyhose, and you can be damn sure of one thing.

It won’t be you who’s down on your knees.

Sugarcube, 48 South Third Street (215-238-0825).