Waist (to Hips): Are you comfortable? Cause I’m swimmin’.

Hips: Hell, no! We’re choking in here!

Thighs (to all): Quit your bitching. We lost circulation an hour ago.

And so the struggle for a great-fitting pair of jeans continues. Thank heavens, then, for Larnell Baldwin, of Baldwin’s Leather and Fabrics. He’ll make those jeans fit like a glove as he alters yokes, inseams, waistbands, and hems. He’ll take those Sass & Bides, J Brands, or Levi’s and transform them into jeans you can live — and even breathe — in. And it’ll cost you only $40, max.

So wearing your favorite pair of jeans no longer has to give your body the blues …

Literally and figuratively speaking.

Baldwin’s Leather and Fabrics, 751/755 South 4th Street (215-627-7668).