Hail the light-foot traveler! Who leaps through security checkpoints with a single tray! Nimble as a sylph! Breezy as the jet stream!

And then there’s her opposite: Wendy Weighmedown. Never met a suitcase pocket she couldn’t stuff, a travel accessory she didn’t need. For her, we submit:

It’s a wrap! It’s a pickpocket magnet! No, just a document retaining travel scarf. One side (to be worn against the body, hidden from view) has six pockets for passport, cell phone, boarding pass, ID. Exactly the things you want flapping around your neck.

Nothing like Flickr-worthy memories. Too bad you’re never in any of the photos. Get a Quik Pod tripod of your own and you’ll never envy the weirdly long-armed again. You + Great Pyramids = priceless.

No well-traveled and deliriously pampered pooch should be forced to take to the streets of San Francisco without his master on the cumbersome end of a pet umbrella.

You can’t be expected to cuddle with that flimsy blanket the stewardess handed you. It barely reaches your knees. Voila: an in-flight sleeping bag that envelops you from top to toe. Just like that, you’re the talk of row 25.

Still. It’s a long flight. And you can’t hold it in anymore. Fortunately, you’ve packed GasBGon, the fart-absorbing cushion. You’re such a considerate traveler.

And clearly you’re ready for anything.