If you’ve never experienced the pure, unadulterated joy of seeing a taxidermied animal carcass mounted proudly above your fireplace, then you haven’t really lived.
If you assume that procuring said carcass means outfitting your Hyundai with camouflage, purchasing a large musket rifle, and harming an actual animal, then you haven’t really looked.
Score some (easy and cruelty free) big game for the living room with Paper Stampede, Meg Lemieur’s papier-mâché taxidermy. Each beautifully exotic wall hanging can be bought ready-made or be built to order. That means you can pick any animal you want to live with (including unicorns and dinosaurs).
So hop to, you sassy, musketless devil. Your underwhelming mahogany fireplace isn’t going to decorate itself.
(No animals were harmed in the writing of this story.)
Available by e-mail order at firstname.lastname@example.org.