Remember, it could be worse.
Fairmount Flea Market
What: Finally reinstating the wonderment that only bargain shopping in the state penitentiary can bring.
Why: You like the idea of bargaining in jail.
When: Sat., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. (Rain day, Sun.)
Where: Eastern State Penitentiary, 22nd & Fairmount Sts. (215-625-3532).
Gamble and Huff’s Cucumber Classic
What: Cucumber, Tanqueray #10, and a healthy dose of delight.
Why: Start the season right with a kicked-up Pimm’s Cup.
When: Mon.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-11:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 11:30 a.m.-1:30 a.m.
Where: The Vault at The Ritz-Carlton, 10 Avenue of the Arts (215-523-8273).
What: Another sweaty, Sparks-and-PBR-induced dance-and-stare-a-thon hosted by Shawn Ryan et al.
Why: You’ve been looking for a reason to go to Medusa since 2003.
When: Sat., 10 p.m.-2 a.m.
Where: Medusa Lounge, 27 S. 21st St., at Chestnut St. (215-557-1981).
Cinco de Mayo
What: El Vez kicks off May 5 festivities early with good food and great drinks.
Why: The early bird gets the tequila worm.
When: Sat., 1 p.m.
Where: 121 S. 13th St. (215-928-9800).
The Career Wardrobe
What: Donate old, work-appropriate clothes to help women in need jump-start their careers.
Why: You have a closet full of suits you’ll never wear again.
When: Mon.-Thurs., 10 a.m.-4 p.m.
Where: 1211 Chestnut St. (215-568-6693).
Home & Garden Festival
What: Food, vendors, and activities await in the disarmingly quaint neighborhood of Chestnut Hill.
Why: Fun for the entire family.
When: Sun., 11 a.m.-5 p.m.
Where: Germantown Ave., b/t Willow Grove & Rex Aves.