Secretly, every woman wants to be Bettie Page. Unfortunately, our day-to-day activities don’t really allow us to pose provocatively while clad in a bikini as we bend to grab a City Paper.

That’s why photographer Celeste Giuliano wants to help ...

Do not use around heat or open flame. Do not use in water. Not to be taken internally. Yeah, whatever. Labels are there to be ignored.

Except dry clean only. You’re not about to throw that $350 cashmere sweater in ...

You send evites for parties, text dinner plans to your friend (she’s sitting too far away), and flirt exclusively on iChat.

If written correspondence seems like a distant memory, it’s time to brush up on your handwriting.

Cricket Press will ...

Two whole days with nothing to do? Not anymore.

DO
Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby
What: A competition and parade of handcrafted, artistic wheels.
Why: There might be a time machine!
When: Sat., 12:30 p.m. Rain date, Sun.
Where

You stand there, head cocked to one side, shoulder aching, trying to figure out which way the mirror is telling you to move your arm.

For your effort? A head that looks half fried and a bruise on your left ...

You didn’t think you’d be the type to settle down. But here you are, a date with Vegas/altar/chuppah staring you in the face. Flowers? Dress? Cake? Neurotic meltdown? This should make it easier.

Best Laid Plans
Feastivities, a catering ...

A hundred bucks for a graphic tee, $200 for cigarette jeans, twice that for a sundress. And within weeks, you couldn’t stand the sight of them.

Funny how your “investments” never really retain their value.

Time to put your money toward ...