Roe, Roe, Roe ...

Feeling lost at sea?

Well, you sure look it. It’s been so long since your last beauty treatment, you’re starting to resemble a desert-island castaway: all jagged nails, parched skin, and chapped lips.

Time to grab hold of a lifeline. At Spa Radiance, they’re pulling out all the stops with the Grand Luxe Caviar Dreams facial, guaranteed to bring your washed-ashore countenance back to the land of the living. After sipping a glass of bubbly, you’ll be escorted to your private sanctuary, where the magic begins — starting off with deep pore cleansing and enzyme exfoliation with caviar extracts filled with vitamins and minerals. (Don’t worry, it’s odorless.) Next? Microdermabrasion (using a diamond-topped wand), Purikiss Disencrustation, and a caviar eye treatment — all topped off with a shoulder massage and a healing dose of light therapy ideal for treating blemishes and rosacea.

One caveat: At $750, it’s not exactly a bargain.

We should hope that it comes with a side order of beluga to go.

Available at Spa Radiance, 3011 Fillmore Street, between Union and Filbert Streets (415-346-6281).