My Big Fat Chaotic Wedding

Here comes the bride. And the crying, screaming, and foot stomping. But before you let anyone call you bridezilla, consider the difficult cast of characters you’re trying to appease — from overzealous aunts to jealous bridesmaids. Our solution? Pass the buck, and let the experts do the heavy lifting.

The Ostentatious Mom
She likes giant rose bouquets, you prefer lily of the valley. Sara McConneloug at Verde Flowers will arrange something to suit you both. Known for her rustic, elegant flora, she’s an expert at integrating your style into her designs (415-457-7542 or contact@verde-flowers.com).

The Annoying Fiance
You-know-who has a sudden interest in your wedding vision. Tell him to cool his heels and hire Melissa Panico to capture the day. She makes the daunting planning process loads of fun (25 Hill Street, #A; 415-648-0307).

The Chatty Maids
Your girlfriends are an opinionated crew, which is precisely why you love them. But when you’re gown shopping, you wish they’d keep it to themselves. Expert Suzanne Hanley at Atelier Des Modistes will silence their cries. She’ll design a masterpiece of Italian silk with vintage French accents that’ll leave everyone — your maids included — speechless (1903 Hyde Street; 415-775-0545).

Tricky Family Ties
His dad is remarried and he calls her Mom. Your Mom is dating a man you adore. And everyone is pitching in to help with the big day. So how should the invitations read? Let Elizabeth Hubbell fret about that. Hubbell presses custom-mixed inks onto beautifully textured papers and adds adorable hand-crafted icons. The result: an exceptionally designed, one-of-a-kind invitation worded exactly right (510-524-9898 or elizabeth@elizabethhubbellstudio.com).

The Groom’s Hippie Commune Clan
His prefers tofu; yours enjoys tri-tip. But clashing tastes won’t get in the way of the delicious food made by Chef de Cuisine Catering. Known for their fantastic fare and beautiful presentation, they’ll come up with a way to satisfy all (1155 Folsom Street; 415-255-6263).

The Allergic-to-Everything Officiant
No dairy. No chocolate. No sugar? Oh, please. Branching Out Cakes designs beautiful confections and creates custom flavors to please even the most finicky types (415-924-0198).

The Third-Trimester Matron of Honor
She’s your oldest, closest, and now biggest friend. Don’t let her dress woes bring you down. Lynn Lugo makes flattering frocks for any shape (916-652-9926 or info@lynnlugobridal.com).

DJ Nuptials (a.k.a. the Best Man)
His best friend’s been mastering the turntables for months in hopes of a wedding-night debut. Kindly say no thanks and give SuperBooty a call. The 15-piece funk ensemble recently started playing weddings, and they’re a sure bet that your guests will get down. As for DJ Nuptials, let him work on a mix-CD to give guests (415-550-0880 or markohara@superbooty.com).

The A.D.D. Flower Girl
It’ll be a miracle if darling Annabelle makes it down the aisle without meandering into a row of guests. Not to worry, photographer Sophie Maher will capture her every move. With a background in documentary photography, Maher will catch those crazy candid moments that make the day special (415-987-3350 or studio@sophiemaherphotography.com).