Despite the news stories, the warnings, and your own best judgment, you did it anyway. You traveled during the holidays. (Grandma sure knows how to put the screws on, sucker.)

You’ll come out of it alive. You’ll probably even do it again before the end of the year. So here’s a cheat sheet to make the journey a little less grueling:

1. Tell everyone you’ll be arriving an hour later than expected. That way, no one will call to ask “Are you here yet?” but all will be very impressed by the good time you made.

2. If you’re flying, check in online before you get to the airport and don’t check any bags. (Duh.)

3. Come to think of it, maybe now’s the time to splurge on an upgrade.

4. FedEx the frippery. Forget fantasies of showing up Martha-style with bright and shiny presents. Just pack and post.

5. For optimal distraction (in traffic jams, during the football game, on line at the security check), load your iPod with books on tape as well as music.

6. And don’t forget crowd-pleasing tunes. Your cousin Milo has a crap CD collection.

7. Rehearse your answers for the dreaded “You look tired,” “Are you dating anyone?,” and “How’s the job hunt going?” (“I’m doing a detox thing,” “Not since the stalker stopped calling,” and “The Hooter’s management position looks like a sure thing.”)

8. Public transportation? Three words: noise-reducing headphones.

9. Did you remember to book some me-time in the middle of family overload? (No? Then get yourself to a spa, movie, gym, or library.)

10. Next time, just stay home.