Everyone knows size doesn’t matter.

Except, of course, where penises are concerned. Then it totally matters.

For those who don’t make the cut but aren’t ready to go under the knife, Huge Brand condoms could be just the thing. While the actual prophylactics within are of standard size, the box they come in is gigantic — perfect for average fellows in need of a compensatory boost.

Choose from the Nightcap (a pack of three), the Weekender (twelve), and the Extended Stay (thirty-six), depending on your plans (and stamina). Each comes with the word “HUGE” printed in suitably ginormous lettering so all who see it know just what they’re dealing with.

Of course, you can’t hide the truth forever.

So it’s best to discourage people from thinking outside the box.

Available online at hugebrand.com.