In honor of America’s b’day, let’s take a moment to celebrate our constitutional right to read (and write) trashy books, shoot water pistols, and wear something other than skinny jeans.

Consider it your patriotic duty to pick up a pair of Colbert jeans by 18th Amendment.

The Aussie-designed, high-waist flares are Gloria Vanderbilt meets Olivia Newton-John. Made with super-soft cotton and a little stretch, the dungarees give your buns a nice lift and let you have a seat without worrying about peeping thong. The Rolls Royce-inspired wing logos on the back pockets indicate you’re a first-class piece of ass.

Wear the pants summer-of-love style with cork wedges or take them dancing in platform pumps à la Studio 54.

Either way, you’re bound to look righteous.

Available at Elizabeth Charles, 2056 Fillmore Street, between California and Pine Streets (415-440-2100 or elizabeth-charles.com).