Online - February 13, 2008

I Wanna Text You Up

LetsHaveTxt.com

From the halls of chez Spears to the corridors of Congress, one truth resounds: Sexual encounters equal trouble.

That’s why we love LetsHaveTxt.com, a free website that allows you to talk (or, rather, type) dirty without the consequences. For fun, we sampled the hottie archetypes (housewife, fireman, cowboy, etc.).

We sign on with Cowboy first.

DailyCandy: can I try on your chaps? you can try on something of mine …
Cowboy: like what?
DC: … me?
Cowboy: I bet you can howl like a coyote.
DC: oh, yes. btw, have you ever read Roland Barthes’s The Pleasure of the Text? It’s rather apropos.
Cowboy: …
DC: hello?

Hm. We sign on with Plumber.

Plumber: someone need their pipes fixed?
DC: oh, yes, please. I need a good plunging.
Plumber: we’ll hav 2 fix that!
DC: it’s very wet here.
Plumber: wow, that’s a drippy valve.

Ew. We move on to Sexbot.

DC: Hi.
Sexbot: 01101101 01101111.

See? Something for everyone. Now try it yourself — and tell your friends. Or don’t.

Text is best when it’s one-on-one.

Available online at letshavetxt.com.