Aladdin (rubbing lamp): Genie, you there?

Genie (emerging): Hey, master, how’s it … holy benzoyl peroxide! There’s a zit on your nose the size of Greenland.

Aladdin: That’s why I summoned you. I’d like you to conjure the most magical product imaginable: a type of chocolate that cures acne.

Genie: Well, that’s easy. I’ve got a box of Frutels right here in my pocket.

Aladdin: What are those?

Genie: Chocolates that cure acne, dumb ass. They’re packed with vitamins and minerals that combat stress, battle hormonal fluctuations, and boost immunity — all of which foil breakouts like the scourge your mug is currently suffering. Here: Take a couple.

Aladdin: Mmmm, they’re delicious.

Genie: And sugar free.

Aladdin: Like magic! Hey, while you’re at it, can you make this pimple disappear in time for my date tonight?

Genie: Even I’m not that good.

Available online at frutels.com.