Aladdin (rubbing lamp): Genie, you there?
Genie (emerging): Hey, master, how’s it … holy benzoyl peroxide! There’s a zit on your nose the size of Greenland.
Aladdin: That’s why I summoned you. I’d like you to conjure the most magical product imaginable: a type of chocolate that cures acne.
Genie: Well, that’s easy. I’ve got a box of Frutels right here in my pocket.
Aladdin: What are those?
Genie: Chocolates that cure acne, dumb ass. They’re packed with vitamins and minerals that combat stress, battle hormonal fluctuations, and boost immunity — all of which foil breakouts like the scourge your mug is currently suffering. Here: Take a couple.
Aladdin: Mmmm, they’re delicious.
Genie: And sugar free.
Aladdin: Like magic! Hey, while you’re at it, can you make this pimple disappear in time for my date tonight?
Genie: Even I’m not that good.
Available online at frutels.com.