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Make Some Noise

It’s almost New Year’s, and you’re one classy ho.

Start 2009 with a bang (not that kind of bang). While you’re making out with both sexes, indulge in some raucous noisemaking (not those noises. Gosh.). It’s cheap, easy, and fun (kinda like you).

You’ll need:
1 large (soup, beans, tomato) can
1 20 percent off Bed Bath & Beyond coupon (you know you have one)
1 bag Skittles
1 bag M&M’s
1 box Nerds
1 box Lemonheads
Duct tape

1. Peel label off can. Recycle it.

2. Remove can top (do this step sober, please). Eat contents and rinse can. Dump candy inside.

3. Fold coupon so it’s small enough to cover top. Duct tape top.

4. Cut this out. Tape it to the outside of your can.

5. At midnight, make some serious noise.

6. Drunkenly tear off cap. Eat candy. Smile. Happy New Year!