Setting: Encore Vintage, Octavia Street.

Emcee: Ladies and gentlemen, today we have exceptional talent from decades past. First, I’d like to thank our talent scouts, Steve Bell and Cindy Stade of Ver Unica, who are here for an encore performance.

Applause.

Emcee: Hailing from estate sales across the country, featuring cameo necklaces, cuff links, chain mail necklaces, copper belts, charm bracelets, and an Indian chief pendant, please welcome the vintage jewelry collection!

Crowd cheers.

Emcee: And to my left, consisting of distressed belts, oversize buckles, and eel skin clutches — the vintage accessory collection!

Audience roars, “Encore! Encore!”

Emcee: And now for the most unique stars this city has ever seen, the vintage boot collection — with English riders, toe-capped cowboys, fringed half-calves, and fur-trimmed après-skiers!

Standing ovation.

Encore Vintage, 522 Octavia Street, between Hayes and Ivy Streets (415-621-6259).