For you, being technologically sophisticated means knowing how to double-click your mouse. (Sadly, not every user has magic fingers.)

Upgrade your hardware (and lend yourself a hand) with miVibe.

Jimmyjane — the self-pleasure masters known for premium gadgets — just launched its first iPhone application. Download the tickle-your-fancy program and your cellie becomes an instant vibrator (gasp!) with adjustable settings.

You’ll never have to fake it again: With three speeds (soft and subtle, gradual buildup, and fast and furious) and ten preset modes, the nifty (and naughty) app will give your lover a run for his money.

And leave it to the kings of kink to design a 24-karat gold phone sleeve that’s ribbed for extra oomph.

Now you’ve got the Midas touch.

Available online at jimmyjane.com.