Online - July 05, 2005

Lock, Stock, and Two Empty Cartons

Euphori-Lock

It’s been a long day. And you don’t want to talk about it.

You just want to kick up your heels and enjoy a nice pint (or two) of ice cream. Alone.

But no. All that’s left in the freezer are the skeletal remains of your beloved Chubby Hubby.

Stupid roommate.

Next time, safeguard yourself from the cruel, heartless world with a Euphori-Lock, an ingenious contraption that keeps thieving housemates and other fat asses from stealing your ice cream when you’re not looking.

Directions for use:
1) Affix the two-piece security device to the lid of your favorite flavor and punch in a safety code.
2) Watch as unsuspecting roomies and houseguests try to pry their way into your chocolate chip cookie dough and/or Chunky Monkey.
3) Point and laugh when they admit defeat.
4) Take said ice cream to a secret location.
5) Unlock and enjoy all four servings in one sitting.

Pure satisfaction. Because ice cream tastes better when it’s snatched from the clutches of others.

Available online at store.benjerry.com.