It was a mildly dark and relatively unstormy night. Having ridden the rails from near and far, red-kerchief-sack-on- sticks in hand, NAHWAR (National Alliance of Hobos Who Adore Reading) gathered around the familiar flaming oil drum for their monthly meeting.

Chaffe the Screwtop Sommelier: Good evening, my fellow literate loiterers. Assuming all present have completed the required reading with zest, let’s begin. This John Hodgman’s The Areas of My Expertise is quite compelling, is it not?
 
Scouty-Eye Die Finder: It is. Aside from its accurate, informative look at hobo life, this book seems to address every other useful subject in a most pleasing fashion. This almanac will be desired by curious readers across the land, for both its lessons and its ribald wit. I want to be first to proclaim its brilliance!

Tiny Breadcrumbs: Agreed. All readers crave better instructions on writing attack ads: Help is provided, along with three examples! After a list of “Short Words for Use on Submarines to Preserve Oxygen,” the reader finds an informative essay, “All Kinds of Squirrels,” complete with table. Shall we discuss Hodgman’s groundbreaking ideas on colonial jobs involving eels or, perhaps more appropriate to this group, the list of 700 hobo names? 

Gimpy-Knee Paddle Captain, the Beach Bum Sophisticate: I don’t care one way or the other. Pass the Scotch.

Chaffe the Screwtop Sommelier: A toast! What a great idea, Captain! Let’s all raise our tin-can cups in honor of Hodg-podge and his meaty entree into the world of almanac-esque tomes. To Hodg-podge!

All present: To Hodg-podge!

Hobos clink cups.

Available at your local book store or online at amazon.com.