It’s 4 a.m., and you’re wide awake. Things are going bump in the night. (And not just the neighbors acting out their own celebrity sex tape scandal upstairs.)

Time to call the Advanced Ghost Hunters of Seattle-Tacoma (yes, really), a team of experts (again, really) who will scour your home or office for signs of paranormal activity.

Using surveillance equipment (infrared motion sensors and audio recording devices), the ghostbusters first do a phantom-seeking walk-through. (The truly supernatural part? The initial visit is free.) If they detect activity (you knew it!), they’ll come back for a full investigation, armed with the latest S.P.E.C.T.R.E. gear.

The Hunters can’t actually remove otherworldly roommates, but for a small fee, you can purchase DVD recordings of your phenomena. You know, a tape for posterity.

Please. Hold the slime jokes.

Advanced Ghost Hunters of Seattle-Tacoma (253-203-4383 or aghost.us). To schedule an investigation, e-mail investigations@aghost.us.