May 30, 2007

That’s Sick

Idle Hands Designs Rings

From the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Ed.:

Disorder: Sudden Onset Gothitis

Description: A nonhereditary condition often exacerbated by early summer (in response to cutesy prints and cheery colors).

Symptoms can include, but are not limited to: Strong aversion to anything pink, polka-dotted, or overtly girlish; consumption of at least four espressos per day; abuse of black eyeliner; sudden desire to listen to Tori Amos.

Treatment: Patients generally respond well to Idle Hands Designs rings. Created by Seattleite Lyndsay Dittrich (a sometime-sufferer herself), the instant pick-me-ups are made from beautifully ornate vintage glass buttons (collected everywhere from area flea markets to the Czech Republic).

Typical prognosis: The nicely priced, oversize rings are extremely effective (due to their ability to toe the line between socially acceptable and totally punk rock). With liberal and frequent use, most patients make full recoveries.

Related disorders: See Hipsteraphobia, Skinny Jean Separation Anxiety Disorder.

Available at Velouria, 2205 Northwest Market Street (206-788-0330 or shopvelouria.com). To see styles, go to idlehandsdesigns.com.

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