You work all day and spend your evenings in flagrante, leaving Pupster and Patches to fend for themselves. But the plethora of stuffed toys, tinkling balls, and gourmet biscuits you proffer shows you care — right? Wrong. (The “presents” scattered about your pad signify something is amiss.) Realign your relationship with Northwest School of Animal Massage’s new pet workshops. First up: the Fundamentals of Animal Massage, where you’ll learn how to tickle Fido’s fancy and turn him into the picture of health. Subsequent classes focus on ecofriendly pet care (healthy planet = happy pooch), animal communication (you’re not the only one doing the talking), and aromatherapy (think that sniffer’s just for show?). Any of which should serve as a nice pick-me-up. And we’re not talking poop. First class, Saturday and Sunday, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. For more information or to register, go to nwsam.com.