Attempting to chronicle your lovers a la Colette should be prosecutable.

Kissing a girl in modern times is a pop chart ploy, not a reason to adopt a pen name.

But you can be swept away to a Montmartre-esque artist’s enclave at chef Jason Todd Rice’s new bistro, The Bohemian, opening for dinner tonight. The wrought-iron art nouveau decor with stunning glass fixtures proves a worthy creative’s retreat.

Sit down to baña calda or balsamic-marinated lamb chops. Then cozy up to a Gruyere raclette with dry-aged sausage, cornichons, or butternut squash.

Vintage cocktails like The Sazerac and The Cubano set the mood. Sip The Martini de Sade while leafing through Rimbaud at the cozy bar.

It’s something you’ll really want to tell all about.

The Bohemian, 3405 California Avenue Southwest (206-938-2646 or bohemianseattle.com).