This is a case of criminal neglect. The particulars are quite gruesome: bedraggled nails, hairy stems, pasty skin, scaly feet. Guilty as charged.

Serve your time at Urban Yoga Spa. The facility focuses primarily on the ancient exercise, but its loft-style spa will entice those who don’t strike a pose.

The serene white space overlooks bustling Stewart Street through giant windows. Lounge music keeps the mood upbeat while you reenergize with European massages, lash extensions, manicures, pedicures, and facials enhanced by optional eye contour treatments or gel peels.

Services are customizable in 30- to 90-minute intervals, so there’s no excuse for postponing your sentence. Raw, organic meals (available for preorder) make lunchtime escapes a cinch.

How’s that for baiting the defendant?

Urban Yoga Spa, 1900 Fourth Avenue (206-420-0222 or urbanyogaspa.com).