Ain’t Too Proud to Beg

Zis is Dr. Roof vith tips for enhancing your relationship viz your canine.

First, know your mutt. Give him a Happy Dog DNA test to find out vhat he’s really made of. The mail-in cheek swab set reveals your pup’s behavior, health risks, and personality (as determined by genetics). Zen let him display his animal antics in a Crescent Moon Studio DVD, vhere his memory vill be preserved for posterity.

Treat him right viz Candace White’s Le Petit Chien biscuits (available Sundays at the Ballard Market or by special order at 206-369-4859 or itscando@gmail.com) made viz ingredients like salmon and appples from Pike Place Market. Enrolling in free Fetch pet food delivery vill ensure you never forget dinner. Choose from 25 varieties.

Rub-a-dub dog viz Dermagic’s organic shampoo bars that pamper in rosemary/lavender (to calm), antibacterial peppermint/tea tree oil (to mildly stimulate), and eucalyptus/lemon (to refresh). For every ten bars sold, a tree is planted. Your pooch vill really luff you for dat. Then give him a token as vild as he is: a guitar-pick ID tag from Rockin’ Doggie viz claims like Born to Run and Vild Thing.

He’ll feel like a real wiener.