Let's make some noise. Vote for the best thing you've heard this year, be it a tune or a life lesson.
Lindsay Goldring Dog Trainer
You'll be on cloud ca-nine after Lindsay Goldring trains your pup. Using positive reinforcement, she works one-on-one with you and your dog to create a healthy relationship. Read More
Originally published on November 13, 2007
Lindsay Goldring, Personal Pup Trainer
Teenagers and puppies have a lot in common: problems with authority figures (whether tattoos or table legs, no seems to always mean yes), a need to be house-trained, the desire for positive reinforcement.
Just ask dog trainer extraordinaire Lindsay Goldring, who teaches pups to form healthy habits voluntarily by rewarding good behavior. A dog lover for 25 years and a trainer for two, she treats dogs of all ages (especially puppies) and promises to make a saint out of your little sinner.
Goldring works with you, your pup, and your lifestyle to facilitate the best possible relationship. She’ll determine problems and goals during a phone consultation, then work with your pup in person. (You can choose whether to sit in on the training.)
She’ll teach you both how to maintain pup’s progress.
Even in a dog-eat-dog world.
Lindsay Goldring (email@example.com).
Lindsay Segal Personal Stylist
If you want to impress but don't know how to dress, go to personal stylist Lindsay Segal for a dose of fashion know-how. She'll have you runway ready faster than you can say, "Tim Gunn." Read More
Originally published on September 26, 2007
The Young and the Dressless
Personal Stylist Lindsay Segal
Episode one recap: When Victoria tells Karen she has nothing to wear, Karen tells Victoria she has horrible taste. Victoria slaps Karen, who runs straight to J.T., Victoria’s evil husband, and they plot to inject Victoria with a coma-inducing serum while she sleeps.
Episode two spoiler: As the twisted pair enters Victoria’s bedroom, personal stylist Lindsay Segal (cameo) bursts in. Nobody recognizes her as the woman who carried Karen’s babies and saved her from drowning (twice). This is because she looks fabulous. Her wardrobe styling techniques were honed at Women’s Wear Daily and Style.com in New York and as a photo stylist in Chicago.
Segal slaps J.T., injects Karen, and drags Victoria to safety. After going through Victoria’s closet and discussing a budget, they go shopping. Segal mixes high and low (from H&M to Barneys), relishes in accessories, and loves the unpredictable.
Feeling stylishly renewed, Victoria dumps J.T. for his younger (hotter) brother.
Segal smiles at another job well done. She grabs Karen’s babies (rightfully hers) and leaves.
Lindsay Segal (847-609-5012 or firstname.lastname@example.org).
Cheryl Sloane and Kari Kriser G Boutique
With toys, classes, and books, G Boutique owners Cheryl Sloane and Kari Kriser teach you the principles of pleasure and how to hit the spot. Read More
Originally published on August 22, 2007
A Job Well Done
Sex Classes at G Boutique
It’s not that you don’t enjoy foreplay. It’s just that your job ends at 5. And overtime isn’t your thing.
The BF, however, is a total workaholic (if you know what we mean).
Reciprocate already and sign up for a Blow Job class at G Boutique. We promise it won’t suck or bite. (And by the end of the hour, neither will you.) If all goes well, you’ll learn saucy moves in a safe environment. At the very least, it’s fodder for gossip at the neighborhood watch meeting.
Burning questions come first (to lube or not to lube?), followed by Hand Jobs 101 (they’re back!), where you’ll learn everything from Old Faithful to Knob Polisher. Then on to shocking his pants off with moves like Gummer, Hummer, and Laplander.
Clearly, this class was made for bachelorette parties, though you can take one whenever you have an aching jaw. Sessions fill up fast, so sign up ASAP.
And don’t blow it.
G Boutique, 2131 North Damen Avenue, between Webster and Armitage Avenues (773-235-1234 or boutiqueg.com).