This weekend goes down smooth.DANCEDiscothequeWhat: The Smithsonian’s National Postal Museum becomes a nightclub for one evening, complete with music from The Toxic Avenger (a.k.a. French DJ Simon Delacroix).Why: Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor hail should keep you from this party.When: Fri., 9 p.m.-1 a.m.Where: 2 Massachusetts Ave. NE, at N. Capitol St. (202-633-5555). Tickets ($35) online at residentassociates.org.DRINKSloop BettyWhat: A new vodka ($32), made on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, is the first distilled in the state since Prohibition.Why: The small-batch spirit is made with local ingredients and is aiming for organic certification.When: Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sat., 9 a.m.-5 p.m.Where: Ace Beverage, 3301 New Mexico Ave. NW, at Macomb St. (202-966-4444).EATThe Upper Crust OpensWhat: Hit D.C.’s outpost of the beloved Boston pizzeria for whole pies or slices ($3-$20).Why: Order an Old Town (chorizo, garlic, crushed red pepper), The FLOTUS (spinach, broccoli, feta), or The Senate (hamburger, sausage, pepperoni).When: Sun.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 11 a.m.-11 p.m.Where: 1747 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, b/t 17th & 18th Sts. (202-463-0002).CHUCKLECool Dudes Hanging OutWhat: The Velvet Lounge hosts a lineup of local and national comedians. Why: You’ll laugh at Jason Weems from Last Comic Standing, Mike Lawrence from John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show, and others.When: Fri., 7 p.m.Where: 915 U St. NW, b/t 9th & 10th Sts. (202-462-3213). Tickets ($5) at the door.Photo: Life Boat / Getty ImagesUp to 75% off Tom FordThe sun may or may not come out tomorrow, but you may as well be prepared with slick shades. Bet your bottom dollar they’re up to 75% off (plus free shipping thru Sat.) on our sample sale site.