The Notorious D.M.V.

The D.C. D.M.V.

Used to be, you were happy to spend your Thursday queuing up for a foolproof fake I.D. (One well-winked “please let me face forward and not sideways” and you were spending junior year at Third Edition.)

But now that you’re legal, standing in the D.M.V.’s interminable lines doesn’t have the same thrill it used to. (Ditto your lucky barstool at Thirds.)

Time to discover a secret grown-up perk: United States Vehicle Registration Service, a genius little company that comes to your house, picks up your car, spends the day in the inspection lines, and returns your ride ready to drive.

Additionally (and this is really  incredible), they can arrange for a change of address on your license, wait for boots to be removed, set up ticket payment, apply for license plates, and even get zone stickers so that you can avoid parking violations.

The only thing they won’t do is get you a fake I.D.

But you don’t need one now anyway.

Or do you?

United States Vehicle Registration Service (202-342-2558 or usvrs.com).