If Lukes Could Kill

Dear Priscilla,

You always look soooo good, don’t you? Perfect Ilo highlights, perfect Marni dress, perfect Maloles slides. Bet you’d even wear a tiara if it was socially acceptable. (Freak.)

We’re onto you, Princess Perfectissima. We know it’s not the real you. We know all about your fashion fairy godmother, Alison Lukes, the former Michael Kors alum turned wardrobe consultant.

Yeah, don’t think for a sec that we don’t know how she came to your house, edited your closet (three pairs of Ugg boots she had to toss!), and then filled it back up with outfits hand-picked for you. How she showed you which jacket to wear with which pants and which shoes to wear with which skirt. How she organized all your clothes and accessories just so to make sure you didn’t accidentally pair a fur vest with a grommet belt or your metal-studded Mulberry with houndstooth shoes. Even how she donated your old clothes to charity. (Though not even Lukes could give your heart a makeover.)

Well guess what? We’ve gone and hired her for ourselves. So you can take your dressier-than-thou attitude and stuff it.

Oh, and pass the tiara.

Alison Lukes et Cie (202-362-9559 or alisonlukes.com).