In your mind, you’re catnip, driving khaki-clad federal flaks out of their minds.
In reality, you’re too much of a scaredy-cat to unleash your inner seductress.
You, pussycat, need Kitty Victorian to save you from the alleys of embarrassment. This weekend, Victorian (D.C.’s favorite local sex kitten) launches Burlesque University.
The curriculum covers the history of the dance, costuming (read: how to turn an ordinary bra into a sequined extravaganza), and, most importantly, basic need-to-know moves inspired by the classic striptease performance.
Enroll in the six-week intro class (the finale is a student recital) or attend individual seminars on tassel twirling and fan swirling. Need a boost in the boudoir? Pop into the monthly How to Strip for Your Lover class. If you’re still too afraid, you can sign up for private lessons.
But it’s time to learn to live a little.
After all, you don’t have nine lives.
Burlesque University (202-518-7569 or burlesqueuniversity.com).