Operator: This is 911. Who’s calling?

Legs: It’s the legs! We need help!

Operator: What’s the problem?

Legs: We’re choking. Can’t breathe. Ankles are suffocating. Can’t bend over. There might even be chafing.

Operator: Are you wearing skinny jeans?

Legs: Yes! And it’s getting worse.

Operator: Sounds like you’re overdosing on too-tight denim. We’re sending someone over with Level 99 wide-leg jeans, stat. Styles include Susie, with cute cuffs at the bottom; Laguna, with five pockets and a crooked seam; and Typhoon, with the widest and most dramatic cut.

They come in three washes and are made from lightweight denim that hangs perfectly. The contoured waistband won’t buckle. And they’re miraculously flattering. Plus, at under $100, you’ll be able to swing it.

Legs: Talk about coming to the rescue.

Operator: And you thought 911 was a joke.

Available at Lettie Gooch, 1911 9th Street NW, between T and U Streets (202-332-4242 or lettiegooch.com). To see styles, go to level99usa.com.