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Gobble Gobble

Put on your elastic-waist pants, preorder the bird, and fill your mouth with DailyCandy’s Turkey Day wordplay.

cornycopia
n. A surplus of tacky Thanksgiving decor: papier-mache turkeys, faux fall leaves, etc. (We barely had room for the food with all the cornycopia on Aunt Gertie’s dining room table.)

cranberry boss
n. The control freak in the kitchen who won’t let anyone else cook (yet doesn’t hesitate to make everyone feel guilty for “not helping”).

honeybaked scam
n. The store-bought item you present at the Thanksgiving potluck and pass off as your own.

master baster
n. Honorary title self-bestowed after successfully serving a home-cooked turkey for the first time.

Pillgrims
n. People who need an antacid pill after Thanksgiving dinner (i.e., everyone).

plumpkin
n. The overweight relative who always reminds you how thin she was at your age (as she goes back for her fifth helping of candied yams).

Spanxgiving
n. The day after Thanksgiving when you have to wear suffocating undergarments so that you can fit into your clothes.

stuffing stalker
n. A guest who hogs all of the stuffing. (Uncle Chuck’s the ultimate stuffing stalker. Last Thanksgiving, the fam spotted him rummaging for Stouffer’s crumbs in the trash.)

sweet potato high
n. The sugar rush you get after consuming mass amounts of yams, marshmallows, and maple syrup. (Note: Does not induce munchies.)

thanksmisgiving
n. The feeling you have about going to your boyfriend’s family’s Thanksgiving dinner.


Hungry for more? Try our
Cold Weather Lexicon.