Washington, D.C. - February 27, 2009

Massage Stable

Massage Club at Shakti MindBody Studio

Back in the day when liquor was illegal, drinkers flocked to speakeasies to get their fair share.

Now that the economy has thrown pampering by the wayside, it’s time to gain access to the resteasy.

Rush to join this insiders’ club, where members are initiated with a full pounding.

Deep inside the Shakti MindBody Studio, the resteasy offers a monthly hour-long Swedish massage at a deep discount of $59 per month, with add-ons for deep tissue or reflexology.

The rate covers one massage a month, but submit to the hedonism with additional a la carte massages for even less cash.

While the faction doesn’t require secret handshakes, it does ask for a three-month commitment.

So Shak, rattle, and roll.

Available at Shakti MindBody Studio, 1015½ 7th Street NW, between New York Avenue and L Street (202-783-6463 or shaktimindbodystudio.com).