No kidding.

LAUGH
Whitney Cummings Stand-Up
What: Young Hollywood’s Comedian of the Year returns home for a performance and Comedy Central taping.
Why: You loved her on Chelsea Lately and Showtime’s Live Nude Comedy.
When: Sat., 7 & 10 p.m.
Where: Sidney Harman Hall, 610 F St. NW, at 6th St. (202-547-1122). Tickets ($23) online at shakespearetheatre.org.

DRINK
Wine in the Woods
What: Alfresco tastings, food vendors, vino seminars, plus live reggae, funk, and soul music in Symphony Woods.
Why: Maryland reds and whites (that’s right) from vineyards like Galloping Goose, Frederick Cellars, and Terrapin Station Winery.
When: Sat. & Sun., noon-6 p.m.
Where: 5950 Symphony Woods Rd., Columbia (410-313-7275). Tickets ($30, for drinkers; $15, for designated drivers) at the gate.

BUY
Jules Reid Trunk Show
What: The Virginia designer shows off her latest collection ($225 and up) of graphic sundresses, embroidered caftans, and brightly printed tunics.
Why: Ikats, geometric patterns, and eye-catching colors combine for a Palm Beach-meets-hippie look.
When: Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: Sherman Pickey, 1647 Wisconsin Ave. NW, b/t Reservoir Rd. & Q St. (202-333-4212).

OBSERVE
Classical Realism: New Works
What: Talented Teresa Oaxaca displays her newest oil paintings inspired by the masters (Brueghel, Géricault, and Caravaggio).
Why: Eerily lifelike classical figures dominate the solo show.
When: Thru June 7. Opening reception, Thurs., 6:30-8 p.m. Gallery hours, Mon.-Wed., Fri. & Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sun., noon-6 p.m.
Where: The Art League, 105 N. Union St., Alexandria (703-683-1780). Admission is free.  

Photo: Courtesy of Whitney Cummings