You’ve been wearing Vans since they were in fashion the first time, still write letters that require pen and paper, and can’t wrap your head around a Willy Wonka played by anyone but Gene Wilder.

Face it, dear: You’re utterly ...

World Cup fever is sweeping the nation. Okay, fine, every other nation. So we chatted with D.C. United’s MVP Alecko Eskandarian to help get us hyped about our nation’s 105th favorite pastime.

Watch It and Weep
If you actually want ...

Not-so-pleasant interactions with the neighbors are nothing new.

What with the crab remains in your trash, the wall pounding every time you so much as whisper, and the decorations they leave up all year (no, their garden gnome is not ...

Father may know best, but you’ll know what to do this weekend.

SEE
Silverdocs
What: Everyone’s fave film festival with documentaries on all things, from art to South Africa to Darkon to roller derby to air guitar.
Why: Jim Jarmusch ...

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up!

Palace of Wonders, a new attraction
That guarantees fun and nonstop action!

Oddities sure to shock and amaze
Ensure that you’ll leave this nightspot dazed.

Sit down at the bar or even a table,
Or ...

You don’t need to spend all day lounging by the pool. Get out there, do some good, and you’ll be swimming in satisfaction.

DO
Most Valuable Kids All Star Day
What: Carnival fundraiser with rides, food, and sports at the ...

Love Law & Order? Big on Boston Legal? Crazy for Court TV? That’s nice.

Now get ready for a riveting look at a different (and real) side of criminal law.

Indefensible: One Lawyer’s Journey into the Inferno of ...