November 30, 2007

Something to Brag About

Holiday Card Roundup

Dearest Friends,

To celebrate another joyous year, each family member picked a different card in which to tuck their fabulous news.

Young Billy, still a math prodigy and Olympic hopeful, sent Uncooked cards that read “Snowflakes probably wouldn’t be as lovely if they were shaped like prostitutes” and “Maybe all that yellow snow is just snow drenched in butter.” Little angel.

Jane, the typical teen, is coming into her own. She chose Redbean’s artsy reindeer, perched robin, and ornament graphics on matte card stock for her boarding school and rehab buddies.

Bob, on the eve of his second promotion in six months, opted for Seltzer’s pragmatic designs (directions for dialing Jingle Bells on a telephone and a recipe for hot cocoa).

Grammy is not only still alive but still a ham: Her bridge club got classy letterpressed cards with red and green pig silhouettes from Linda & Harriett.

As for Barbara, she’s still the town’s reigning bingo champion, an active PTA member, unofficial president of her local Neighborhood Watch, and modest as ever.

With love,

The Joneses